Live Blogging the Finale! Hour 2

Hour 1 Recap I'm switching to a new post because I can't page down quickly enough in Blogspot to update- this is Hour 2. Kicking off with...

9:00: Allison Iraheta, Last Girl Standing, singing with Cyndi Lauper. My head might explode!!! "Time After Time," and it is excellent.

9:03: Mrs. Allen, rocking the one-shoulder dress. How cute is she? Why do they always talk to the parents, and not, say, the spouse?

9:05: It's Gokey Time! Is he singing with Lionel Richie? He is! Lionel is trying to entice Gokey to dance, but it's better not to encourage him.

9:07: I read an article that said that Gokey had something like fifteen pairs of glasses when he started Idol, and now has fifty (or, a really high number) and that he totally wants a deal with LensCrafters. Aim high, Gokey!

9:08: Never heard that song before. They aren't picking very good Lionel Richie songs. These are lame, even for Gokey.

9:09: Reuben sighting!

9:14: It's Adam Time. He's been performing since he was 10. He has wowed America. But will he win?

9:15: Spear: I love this song and now it represents a D-bag.
Laura: Yes. I love it too. And I think Coldplay are D-bags.
Spear: I concur.

9:16: Spear: WTFFFFFFFFF?
Laura: I HAVE NO IDEA.

9:17: Spear: He's the angel of Glam.

9:17.30: KISS. Why am I not surprised? His whole tongue out/screaming/eye molestation schtick is straight from them.

9:19: You know how I know this song? It was played at every single IU home basketball game, so I had to learn the words. I-N-D-I-A-N-A.

9:20: THE SHOES. Will no one think of the children???

9:24: So we need a show called "Mental," when we already have a "Mentalist"?

9:25: Guitar Legend Carlos Santana. Not much to say about that. JT, Jr. Matt Giraud is singing with him.

9:27: So are all the other Idols, dressed in saucy Latin red. Adam's not. Way to be a rebel! Singing a Rob Thomas song. JORGE!!! Remember him? Kris is attempting a salsa. Nice try! A for effort! The group sing effort is pretty poor. It sounds like a high school choir...and not the good kids. The ones that needed a music credit to graduate.

9:29: Final Ford Pimp-spot. it's all artsy and stuff. It's a composite of the previous several week's shows. Whatever, it has Cutie Kris, so I will buy what they are selling. Hear that Mom?

9:30: David Cook has a huge surprise for Adam and Kris. I wonder what it will be??? Adam knows what is coming. Kris needs a new car so bad. You know he drives a beater at home.

9:30: STEVE MARTIN? Playing the BANJO? This show just got 100% more awesomer. This is the kind of music Sarver should be singing. Does anyone even remember him? Hint: He's the oil rig dude.

9:32: Let's see what Megan Joy does with this song. It's not 100% awesome. I just don't get where her voice fits in. Has anyone been watching Scrubs this season? They have this twee little ukelele player on there, with a kind of wacky voice, but it works for her. Maybe Megan/Joy/Corkrey should try a ukelele?

9:33: Steve Martin wrote that song? Seacrest: "Steve, who do you think will win tonight?" Martin: "I know it's a long shot, but I hope I do." HA.

9:34: Is this a movie about hamsters? Elite animal spies? Oh, it has Will Arnett. It must be funny if it has GOB Bluth. And they are guinea pigs. Still rodents. AND Bill Nighy? Okay, this movie clearly will be hilarious.

9:38: Another Group Sing. Sarver gets a solo. He is infinitely more comfortable on stage here than he was during the competition. O.M.G. Are they really singing this song?

9:40: Rod Stewart. Someone tell my mom. My dad thinks he is drunk. I concur. There is nothing sexy about a guy stumbling to the microphone stand.

9:41: Carrie Underwood!

9:42: Did Rod Stewart join a barbershiop quartet? Or beat up one and steal a jacket on the way to the theatre?

9:43: Bo Bice!

9:44: Music Royalty! Now touring your local nursing home.

9:45: Golden Idol.....drumroll please.....Outstanding Female. Several girls I've never seen. Yeah, they're not great. Awww, Tatiana! How we've missed you!!! Such a travesty she didn't make the top 13. Think of all the fodder I would have had!

9:50: Okay, ten minutes left!!! We have two winners in Bingo- Allison Greene in a record six minutes, and my dad after, like, an hour. We still have not seen:
-Ryan make fun of Simon's wardrobe
-Someone thanks the band
-Someone cries (unless you count my dad crying over Bikini Girl)
-Randy says the word "dude"
-Ryan and Simon "argue"

9:52: Who will win? Adam and Kris duet to Queen's "We are the Champions." This song so lends itself more to Adam. And there's the screaming. That didn't take long. And Queen shows up! Most of Queen, anyway. Long are the days when the Idol Finale was a bastion of no-name performers.

9:53: Is that every Idol that's ever been on the show? There are a lot of them. Or is it the Top 36?

9:54: Kris is holding his own. But you can really only hear Adam.

9:55: The last note is killer!

9:56: Another commercial break. Geez.

10:00: The results...Simon says he thought both were brilliant, unusually nice people, and very proud of what they achieved. He is not atoning for throwing Kris basically under the bus, as he did last year with D.Cook.

10:01:.....Your next American Idol is....KRIS ALLEN!

10:02: HOLY CARP!!!!! Kris is totally speechless. He thought Adam would win. And, there's a new trophy! It's no Mirrorball trophy, but, it'll do. Wow, I really thought Adam would win, too.

10:03: Ryan thanked the band and we are over the time limit! Finish your Bingo Cards. I hope Kris does a better job on the coronation song than last night.

10:04: Sources (Spear) say that Simon doesn't look happy. Well, of course not. He bet big on Glambert vs. Gokey, with Glambert for the win.

10:05: This is the only time an inspirational song makes sense...the Idol sings it with insane passion and feeling just this one time.

10:06: Laura OUT!