Seacrest lets us know once again that it is Disco Night, but two contestants will go home Wednesday night. Also, “Disco” means “Donna Summer” songs, as we have three, count ‘em, three tonight. I hope girl is getting paid for this, b/c she performed at last year’s finale and it….was not pretty.
We roll right into Lil Rounds’ performance- no videotape package, no schmaltzy banter. Bravo, Idol! Maybe this show will come in on time for once. We also get to hear from each of the judges again, instead of just Randy/Kara and Paula/Simon. This is not good news for Lil, singing Chaka Khan’s “I’m Every Woman.” Lil is looking pretty great in long hair, less glitter-tastic makeup, and an outfit that hides her ample assets, for once. It still needs a bit of work- as Joy points out, it’s still a jumpsuit, but at least it’s not a studded tank top that could poke your eye out. Lil’s performance was decent, nowhere near last week’s trainwreck, although she cribs quite a bit from Chaka and Whitney. The judges, however, are not amused. Kara points out that Lil has been every woman on stage during this performance; every woman but herself. That’s, like, totally deep, Kara! Sad faced Lil can’t win- she’s not a seasoned performer like Kris or Adam, and can’t mix it up enough to get the judges on her side. However, she does have VoteForTheWorst behind her- she needs to beat out two others, though, to stay in this thing. She knows that American holds her fate in their hands- they dial, they vote, they can keep her in this thing!
Kris sings Donna Summers’ “She Works Hard for the Money,” a song about…a woman…who works hard for her money. Well put, Kris! He does a great acoustic version of this song, guitar, bongos, etc. Kara tells him he took a big risk slowing it down, ditching the disco feel, but it paid off. Paula chimes in, first, that it has a Santana feel, then delves into comedy gold: She knows a lot of women who go shopping in the men’s department, but very few men who go shopping in the women’s department. Oh, Paula! Simon doesn’t care if Kris is buying women’s underpants (Kris shrugs, whatevs, he’s cool like that), but he loved Kris’ originality, and he’s a contender in this competition. Heck yeah, he is!
Go Go Gokey brings the first real “disco” flava to the night w/ some Earth Wind and Fire’s “September.” Awkward white boy dancing, some backup singers who may be singing better than he, great taste, less filling. Here’s the thing: Danny has a great voice. And as Randy constantly points out, this is a SINGING competition (and yet they praise the theatrics of Adam weekly, but I digress), and dude, Danny can SING. But for me, dawg, every song of his sounds the same. I like Danny, but he’s got to bring it next week or my boy Kris is mopping the floor with him.
I was very concerned when Ryan announced that Allison would be singing “Hot Stuff,” which is so much more of an Adam song - potential for lots of screaming, dancing around the stage, campiness, the list goes on. I have no idea what Allison was wearing- a straight jacket, moon shoes? Irregardless, she does a great job with a slightly more rockified, and still completely age-inappropriate, version of the song. The judges don’t love the arrangement, and Randy even calls it “over-indulgent,” which is the new “made it your own,” but they still love her singing. Why? Because this is a…wait for it….SINGING Competition.
Next up, someone who DOES shop in the women’s department, Adam Lambert:
(courtesy Perez, via Ashley D.)
I kid, I kid. But seriously folks, this is the serious side of Adam. We’re not Glammin’ for Adam this week. There’s no Glambert to be found. He’s singing a serious song with a serious voice, a serious suit, and a serious need of a haircut. Seriously? Yes. I had to go on iTunes this morning (Ryan would be so proud!) to see what the original version of “If I Can’t Have You,” from Saturday Night Fever, sounded like. Oh, that song! You’d know it if you heard it. I’ll give you a hint: If I can’t have you, ooo ooo oooooo! Despite my supreme Hateration for Adam, he did a completely new and interesting version of this disco song, and Made It His Own™. The judges love it, even Simon says it’s brillz, original, and immaculate. There’s no question this kid is in the finals. The only question is, who’s with him?
Not Matt Giraud, aka JT, Jr. Hat? Check. Skinny tie? Check. Leather jacket? Falsetto range? Dance biscuits? Check, check, check. Let’s be honest- the judges fault Lil because she dresses and sounds exactly like Tina Turner, Chaka Khan, Whitney, etc., every week, but when Matt Giraud clones Justin Timberlake, it’s okay? It doesn’t really matter, he’s going home tonight no matter what. He sang “Stayin’ Alive,” by the Bee Gees, and while Paula loves it and insists he is staying in the competition, Simon disagrees. I think Matt knows he got the Judges Save last week by sheer luck and pluck, but he’s not making it into the Top 5.
I kid, I kid. But seriously folks, this is the serious side of Adam. We’re not Glammin’ for Adam this week. There’s no Glambert to be found. He’s singing a serious song with a serious voice, a serious suit, and a serious need of a haircut. Seriously? Yes. I had to go on iTunes this morning (Ryan would be so proud!) to see what the original version of “If I Can’t Have You,” from Saturday Night Fever, sounded like. Oh, that song! You’d know it if you heard it. I’ll give you a hint: If I can’t have you, ooo ooo oooooo! Despite my supreme Hateration for Adam, he did a completely new and interesting version of this disco song, and Made It His Own™. The judges love it, even Simon says it’s brillz, original, and immaculate. There’s no question this kid is in the finals. The only question is, who’s with him?
Not Matt Giraud, aka JT, Jr. Hat? Check. Skinny tie? Check. Leather jacket? Falsetto range? Dance biscuits? Check, check, check. Let’s be honest- the judges fault Lil because she dresses and sounds exactly like Tina Turner, Chaka Khan, Whitney, etc., every week, but when Matt Giraud clones Justin Timberlake, it’s okay? It doesn’t really matter, he’s going home tonight no matter what. He sang “Stayin’ Alive,” by the Bee Gees, and while Paula loves it and insists he is staying in the competition, Simon disagrees. I think Matt knows he got the Judges Save last week by sheer luck and pluck, but he’s not making it into the Top 5.
Justin Timberlake or Matt Giraud??
Scruffing it up a bit, Anoop Dogg has the pimp spot and is singing a slightly R&B’d up version of “Dim All the Lights.” Kinda. It’s got an R&B beat, but the vocals are more Lite Rock 97. He also totally flubs the last note (lucky for him they use the dress rehearsal version where he nails it in the phone number recap video). Randy, again, ever the original, tells Anoop that this is a SINGING competition (for everyone but Adam) and that, YO, he can SING. Yes, Randy, WE GET IT. Paula loves a man who can wear pink, loves his smile, and oh yeah, he can sing. Simon was watching a completely different show tonight, because he thought it was mediocre and Anoop’s worst performance yet. Was it “True Colors?” No. Did he have room to improve? Yes. Is he going home? Eh, maybe.
And the show ends on time, tonight, for the first time in weeks! Tomorrow, Archuletta sings- will he sing from the Teenage Girl Zombie Wasteland Pit of Doom? Who goes to the spinny stools? We find out….tonight!
Who’s Out: Lil and Matt
MIYO count: 0
SINGING Competition count: 4
Scruffing it up a bit, Anoop Dogg has the pimp spot and is singing a slightly R&B’d up version of “Dim All the Lights.” Kinda. It’s got an R&B beat, but the vocals are more Lite Rock 97. He also totally flubs the last note (lucky for him they use the dress rehearsal version where he nails it in the phone number recap video). Randy, again, ever the original, tells Anoop that this is a SINGING competition (for everyone but Adam) and that, YO, he can SING. Yes, Randy, WE GET IT. Paula loves a man who can wear pink, loves his smile, and oh yeah, he can sing. Simon was watching a completely different show tonight, because he thought it was mediocre and Anoop’s worst performance yet. Was it “True Colors?” No. Did he have room to improve? Yes. Is he going home? Eh, maybe.
And the show ends on time, tonight, for the first time in weeks! Tomorrow, Archuletta sings- will he sing from the Teenage Girl Zombie Wasteland Pit of Doom? Who goes to the spinny stools? We find out….tonight!
Who’s Out: Lil and Matt
MIYO count: 0
SINGING Competition count: 4
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